Love is important but not enough

Yes, without an argument, Love is life and it’s extremely important. It is the only way to true happiness. But as strong and wonderful Love is, it is not enough to sustain a relationship or marriage. It is not enough to make two people live together forever. Are you asking why…? OK… Think about it… You’ve seen and heard people who said they love each other dearly but yet couldn’t live with each other, get along or get fulfilled together.

You will hear such people say, “I love my spouse, I can’t do without my spouse and my spouse love me and can’t do without me. But still, things are not right or fine for them. Things are not going the way they expect. There is Love but it seems not enough. They try harder but nothing change. They are tired and ask why? Why can’t it work…?

A lot of relationships and marriages experience this all around the world today. I experienced it as well and probably you’re experiencing it now. Love alone cannot make it work. You need to get that straight. It just can’t.

… Love is not enough but it is the rock on which all other things stands.

Three keys are needed to support and make the love you have for your spouse to grow better and make you fulfil. These keys will help build your relationship or marriage, establish it and make it colourful. These keys cannot work without love and love cannot work without them. Do you want to know them… yeah… me too, they are:

  1. Wisdom
  2. Understanding
  3. Knowledge

Relax…. These are words we know and are familiar with but as common as you might view them, they are the things that will give meaning and beauty to your relationship. Here is how important they are to you…..

Wisdom. It is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight. It’s also the capacity of judging rightly in matters relating to life and conduct. As much as love is needed, it is by Wisdom your relationship can be built. It is what makes you mature to deal with situations. Those situations giving you headache is still around you because of lack of Wisdom.

… Wisdom gives you the ability to think and act rightly. It gives you the right sense to everything.

Understanding. This is the ability to understand something. The sympathetic awareness and tolerance for other people. The ability to share the feelings of others and also forgive. It is through understanding that your relationship can be established. Even though you love each other genuinely, you will always find fault in your partner because of lack of understanding.

… Understanding is like a wall that guides your heart and mind from negative thoughts towards the other person.

… Are you still with me… OK, finally…

Knowledge. This is the awareness or understanding of someone or something such as facts, information, description or skills which is acquired through experience or education by perceiving, discovery or learning. For you to have a treasure filled relationship, you need knowledge. Whatever you don’t have a knowledge of, you can’t do. You need to have full knowledge of each other. you’ve got to know every bits of each others life. “From wants to needs, way of life, beliefs, goals and aspirations. You need to perceive it, discover it, learn it and both share it with each other.

… All these are the true way to find fulfilment in relationship and marriage.

I’m sure you had a good time reading this… me too. Thanks.

#realtimelove-inspireme

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Author: Rotimi Elijah

Rotimi Elijah likes to motivate and inspire people. He likes to be among happy people who loves unconditionally. He believes that love is the basis to true happiness.

79 thoughts on “Love is important but not enough”

  1. Wow! My Brother, joy inexplicable and full of His esteem bubbles from my heart! How timely His Plan Of Restoration To The Original Intent For Our Creation to love and be loved is here now! I am glad He inspired you to visit me and me you. Much love, 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You missed one tiny emotion that guides them all…fear. And that one thing will allow us, or not, to stand in our truth.
    But it has great purpose, for as we are faced with those fears each time it builds a wall so that we will not be hurt, and we (unintentionally) project those very fears onto others. And in doing so we measure the world around us by them.
    They are put in place by the very people we love and look up to (our parents) as we grow up so that it ‘seems’ very normal to us. They project those fears onto us and we slowly react and put in place our coping strategies.
    An example…me…my dad would not show me love, belittle me, so I slowly put a wall up so that it no longer hurt. Remember I am a child with very immature emotional capacity to deal with these very strong emotions. So as I grew up I used to smother my relationships so that they ‘couldn’t reject me’. But in fact those very actions would bring them to a point that they would say ‘whoa, stop..back up your drowning me’. I would point the finger and say ‘how could you NOT want me to love you’, and blamed them because of that pain of rejection. But it was me that was creating it.
    Each relationship making me eventually look within as life was pointing to me and not the ‘others’ that I had been blaming. And even friends would say I was being unfair but I couldn’t help it, not understanding the real driver that was deep down.
    It isn’t until we are on our knee’s in a mess from another relationship breakdown and a strong feeling of ‘I can’t do this anymore’ that a little light will come on. We will realise that it is in looking inside to ‘see’ what drives those fears that the wisdom, knowledge and love will finally knock on our door. And it is buried deep because of those immature walls that we build, we don’t even ‘see’ the why behind them, just the fact that the walls stop the hurt. But it is there we must go.
    I had a lovely friend who kept asking me ‘why’ I felt the way I did that one day I burst into tears, curled in a ball on the floor of my bedroom, that it finally came out, opened a portal so that I could finally ‘see’ the driver behind it all, and then the ‘rebirth’ began. And I mean rebirth very strongly simply because we have integrated those fears within us so that they are there in all that we do…clean your teeth, chat to a friend, working…it is always there, on guard ready to pounce when needed.
    But once released you feel so liberated, freed like the chains removed from a slave for the first time in your life. It even ‘feels’ quite isolating at times because you are not sure what to do next as you have let go a very big part of your life. But you know deep in your heart its time to give love to the one thing in this world that we had neglected…us.
    And in doing that we no longer walk around ‘on guard’ because the power of our fears are now diminished, they no longer hold us in those patterns to avoid them or block many parts of our journey.
    And then our journey is changed forever. We are no longer ‘on guard’ but finally standing in the one thing that will guide us to the love we had sought in everyone else…self love. For in finally ‘seeing’ the wall, the one we put up to block that pain, had in fact made us believe that we aren’t good enough, and within that is the block to our self love.
    And because of a lifetime of holding it at bay, when the fear is finally understood, an appreciation of that understanding is like nothing else in this world, it will open our hearts to really ‘see’ for the first time. We always give from where we are at. If we are angry, we give that anger out. If we are happy, we give that happiness out. And if we are self loving, only then do we truly give out that love.
    But those fears always keep that self love at bay, our love is always built on those fears, keeping us ‘on guard’ in all our relationships so that we will in fact attract those very fears to us, so that one day we will finally see, and appreciate, what it has taken to find that love within. The one love that will love us ‘unconditionally’ because we have now removed those ‘conditions’ of fear that our life had in place.
    May your journey give you the light of that love Rotimi…your love ❤

    Liked by 2 people

      1. My pleasure Rotimi. God gave us this ‘conditional’ world so that we could find the ‘unconditional’ that He is, there is no other way to find ‘us’ unless we tread this path. Painful yes, but it is the love behind that pain that will bring us home ❤
        Thank you also for sharing Rotimi, we all play our part in attracting exactly what our journey requires to find that love within ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This is straight truth!! I just got out of a relationship not too long ago. We lived together for a huge chunk of a relationship. Love was there but it wasn’t enough to keep us together seeing as how we were moving at a different pace individually. Love the post.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. After being married 55 years I can say that your post is insightful. You do need the things you mentioned. Many years ago my husband and I attended Marriage Encounter. This is a program to make good marriages even better. The most important statement from that is that LOVE IS A DECISION. Each and every day we have to decide to love or not. Sometimes we may not like our spouse but we can decide to love them. The choice is ours to make. It is possible for the other person to not make that decision and the marriage will fall apart but as long as both are committed to love we can survive …..even 55 years!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow…. Your comments makes me full of life. It’s a great testimony. Yours words are true and inspiring.

      After 55 years, I imagine how much you have both committed into your marriage to make it stand till today. Thanks for your insightful comment. It’s definitely needed.

      Like

  5. I totally agree ; sometimes love just isn’t enough. You can love someone with all your heart but it won’t make them love you back. People who truly love each other never truly stop loving that person in part even after they find themselves in a new life with a new love. You can easily end a relationship but its not easy to end the love you have for them:)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Yes. After 34 years of marriage I can attest to the truth of what you say. And it is worth it, worth working at it and after all the years and all the ups and downs there is love. But as you have said so well there needs to be more than that. Nice post. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

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