If you don’t want it – don’t do it (cheating)

  • Why do men cheat….?
  • Why do women cheat….?

This question has been asked by almost everyone in the world. It can be frustrating to find out that your spouse is cheating on you. Cheating is so bad it can change the life of both partners if discovered. Often times when cheating is found out, it leads to break ups, separation, divorce or lack of trust.

It hurts to see the person you love go behind your back to keep a relationship with someone else. Cheating has become the other of the day in our world. People now engage in it without remorse… it’s so bad. Some people believe once they fulfil their responsibilities to their spouse, it doesn’t matter what they do outside.

… Cheating is dangerous, it kills one from within gradually.

Some days ago a fight broke out between my neighbor and his wife, what happened…? The wife was caught having a sexual relationship with their landlord. Wow… that’s serious, isn’t it…? It was said that she and the landlord has been engaging in the act for quite some time before it came to the awareness of the husband. But at the long run, they settled.

In some cases it is the man who’s caught cheating on the woman. Some believe it is more common among men to cheat than women. Well… I don’t like going into such debate. My point or should I say my stand is that… None should engage in the act of cheating. How can you possibly be the cause of pain for the person you said you love so much.

… Be it the man or woman, cheating is not a good act. It kills, it destroys. It’s an act of selfishness.

I know it’s not easy and it can be hard sometimes to forgive but it’s the way forward. Irrespective of what happened, you should not cheat on your spouse. Why…? because you love your spouse and you choose to stay with one another. OK… Fine… things might have happened in the past but it doesn’t give you a go ahead to cheat on your spouse.

Some people use cheating as a way of escape from the stress of their relationship or marriage but does that change anything…? No. If you go out to cheat leaving your home or relationship, you’ll always come back to meet it the way you left it. Nothing is going to change until you begin to make the right decision to give it what it takes in order to get the best out of your relationship.

… Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.

Your relationship or marriage can still be save, it’s up to you. If truly you love your spouse and agree to move into each others lives then I believe it’s worth saving. All you need to do is first realize that love is important but not enough to keep you guys together and also to realize that you’ve got to give it what it takes.

If you don’t want it, don’t do it. If you leave your spouse because he or she cheated on you, what’s the probability that the next one will not cheat on you? it’s not certain. Stop cheating and start working on yourself and your relationship.

It feels great to be together once again. Thanks.

Leave your comments below.



Author: Rotimi Elijah

Rotimi Elijah likes to motivate and inspire people. He likes to be among happy people who loves unconditionally. He believes that love is the basis to true happiness.

76 thoughts on “If you don’t want it – don’t do it (cheating)”

  1. I found out over six months ago now that my husband had been cheating on me, first emotionally for two months, then it became sexual and continued for almost five months. They planned getaways together leaving me with our children and no money or groceries. She was a co-worker. A good majority of our friends made through his company all knew it was happening and saw them together, but no one ever told me. I found out a few days after my 35th birthday. This after two days of him gas lighting me so badly to believe that i had been the one to mess up the marriage, I had a breakdown. I was about to be checked into a mental health hospital for two weeks when he finally broke down and told me. The thing is, I’ve been in crappy relationships before. The previous one I endured physical and sexual assault, which resulted in a child. I have severe trauma from that relationship. This affair of his opened that wound even more. I discovered their text messages where they openly mocked me, talked about living together either in Texas or in the PNW but only if ” he was emotionally able to do it” according to her. I was shattered. She sent me an apology, but it was on behalf of the two of them, without his consent. And she lied heavily in it not knowing I had seen their full conversations and pornographic pictures. I called her out on it, and that was the last I’ve heard from her. My husband swears he never really loved her, which Im still trying to comprehend. Maybe i just take “love” more seriously than others? Or believe that word has more power to it than it really does? because i don’t understand how you go from telling someone that you love them, share personal thoughts and dreams and then it’s nothing.
    We are working on our marriage. Not just because of our children, because I’ve been there. i swear I[m the only person in the world sometimes that wished my parents would have divorced because of how badly they fought. But because I love him. I believe in our marriage. But it’s so painful. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. Sometimes I feel like I’d rather be beaten again than endure the pain I feel now.
    I understand that it takes two. I know she’s half of the problem. But I still have this burning hatred for someone that I don’t even know, and I abhor that. I don’t like being angry, or feeling like i want to just scream at someone. It’s brought out the worst in me, and I’m not sure what to do with all the bitterness. She posts that she has repented her sins ( shes a good Christian you see…) so in God’s eyes, she’s forgiven. She’s prayed. She asks for Grace. But where does that leave me and my family?
    Ive learned a great deal from this. And i know I’ll continue to learn more as I heal, if I heal.
    Don’t do it. As someone who has dealt with it, it literally destroys everything. You lose family, friends, jobs, yourself. Because of what my husband and this girl did, not only did they both lose their careers, but it caused a huge rift between my family and his. Not to mention me and his family. My friends and even his close friends no longer want anything to do with him. We have three children, she and her husband have none. So they don’t have to worry about that issue. But I do. I have to keep everything together for them.
    I implore you, don’t cheat. Don’t do it. It doesn’t just affect you and your partner. It destroys everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My heart is touched reading this… The impact of cheating is so disastrous. It affects the whole thing. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband. I wish you well in all way. I have met people that believe in love and understand the power of love and you are one of those people…

      The world is so lucky to have you. Just like you said, cheating destroy everything. I wish you from now a better life than before. The incapacity of another person to not able to love genuinely should not take away our own capacity to love genuinely.

      May things turn out better from now. Thanks dear friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. “It can be frustrating to find out that your spouse is cheating on you. Cheating is so bad it can change the life of both partners if discovered.” I think this is putting it mildly…

    Cheating fkn wreck Livessss… causes death… mental illness…so many things can happen after you’ve found out the person you love, trusted with all your heart… and soul… has been cheating on you… has been looking you deep into your eyes telling you how much they love you…and care for you and blah blah blah… is having sex,,, unprotected sex even with someone elsee… gahhhhh… this topic boils my blood… !!!!

    nice post…

    btw…it’s hard to forgive a cheating bastard… esp. if the bastard turns out to be pathological lying remorseless man-whore…ugh…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good post. Cheating can hurt more than just the three people involved. There are the inlaws and children often involved. A disease can also be spread without the cheaters even being aware of it. Thanks for stopping by my blog and following. 🙂 — Suzanne

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow… You know what… You are right. But what causes insecurities in a relationship, one of the factor that cause it is lack of trust.

      If both partners can deal with themselves and be true to each other, I believe cheating will not be needed by neither of them.

      Great thought from you. Thanks so much. My best regards.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The main problem today is that most people are in relationships because they are scared to be lonely. They are not comfortable with the idea of being alone. And most importantly they are unable to be in relationship with themselves or love themselves enough to build that security level. Which leads to them seeking validations from others/their lovers.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. You’re so right. If you’re in a relationship, you need to give your mind, body and soul to your significant other. If you can’t do that and are tempted to cheat, then you weren’t really serious about the relationship in the first place. A very thought provoking post!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Well no one can understand the mystery behind cheating. I believe it is a part of every human being. Like animals, we have no obligation to love or emotional servitude. It only takes the most strongest and disciplined of the human race to live above cheating. I usually don’t blame cheating partners, I only see them as a weak side of the human race. Not giving in to human vices takes the grace of God and a pre-determined will to not conform. #my opinion though….

    Liked by 3 people

  6. As a monogamous man in a lifetime relationship I can tell you, we’ve seen it happen all around us. In our 20 years of marriage, and for the many years of engagement before, we have been witness to the effects of disingenuous partnerships. The temptation is always there and sometimes it is just a fleeting thing to give into that (very human) temptation and risk it all. Don’t, I say.

    The proudest thing I am in life is the pure and beautiful heart of my love. Nothing wrecks a beautiful heart quicker than unfaithfulness. The rewards of a life together are worth a million times more than the reward of a fleeting temptation.

    Great post, my man. Enjoyed it much!


    Liked by 4 people

    1. Tom… Your words lift up my soul. I feel every inch of it. Your comment is beautiful, inspiring, insightful, needful and helpful.

      And I agree with this words of yours… “Nothing wrecks a beautiful heart quicker than unfaithfulness. Great thought.

      Thanks my friend.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Hmm….. I feel your words. You are right. Sometimes we need to know when there is no future whatsoever in our relationship. But divorce should be the last option. It should be the next thing to do when all options have been exhausted.

      I appreciate your comments. Thank you so much. My best regards.

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s