If you don’t want it – don’t do it (cheating)

  • Why do men cheat….?
  • Why do women cheat….?

This question has been asked by almost everyone in the world. It can be frustrating to find out that your spouse is cheating on you. Cheating is so bad it can change the life of both partners if discovered. Often times when cheating is found out, it leads to break ups, separation, divorce or lack of trust.

It hurts to see the person you love go behind your back to keep a relationship with someone else. Cheating has become the other of the day in our world. People now engage in it without remorse… it’s so bad. Some people believe once they fulfil their responsibilities to their spouse, it doesn’t matter what they do outside.

… Cheating is dangerous, it kills one from within gradually.

Some days ago a fight broke out between my neighbor and his wife, what happened…? The wife was caught having a sexual relationship with their landlord. Wow… that’s serious, isn’t it…? It was said that she and the landlord has been engaging in the act for quite some time before it came to the awareness of the husband. But at the long run, they settled.

In some cases it is the man who’s caught cheating on the woman. Some believe it is more common among men to cheat than women. Well… I don’t like going into such debate. My point or should I say my stand is that… None should engage in the act of cheating. How can you possibly be the cause of pain for the person you said you love so much.

… Be it the man or woman, cheating is not a good act. It kills, it destroys. It’s an act of selfishness.

I know it’s not easy and it can be hard sometimes to forgive but it’s the way forward. Irrespective of what happened, you should not cheat on your spouse. Why…? because you love your spouse and you choose to stay with one another. OK… Fine… things might have happened in the past but it doesn’t give you a go ahead to cheat on your spouse.

Some people use cheating as a way of escape from the stress of their relationship or marriage but does that change anything…? No. If you go out to cheat leaving your home or relationship, you’ll always come back to meet it the way you left it. Nothing is going to change until you begin to make the right decision to give it what it takes in order to get the best out of your relationship.

… Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well.

Your relationship or marriage can still be save, it’s up to you. If truly you love your spouse and agree to move into each others lives then I believe it’s worth saving. All you need to do is first realize that love is important but not enough to keep you guys together and also to realize that you’ve got to give it what it takes.

If you don’t want it, don’t do it. If you leave your spouse because he or she cheated on you, what’s the probability that the next one will not cheat on you? it’s not certain. Stop cheating and start working on yourself and your relationship.

It feels great to be together once again. Thanks.

Leave your comments below.



Say it out – Don’t keep it in

Yes… you probably have an idea of what I meant or maybe you don’t, but I have yet discovered another factor that kills relationship and send marriages to early grave. What is this factor…? it is not saying the phrase “I love you”, not seeing it as needed and seeing it as unimportant.

As simple as you might view it, it is one of the factors that causes break ups, separation, and divorce in our modern world. Partner’s are too busy, working tirelessly to give each other a good life and in the process forget why they are even doing it. Husband and wife are too busy trying to make a living and set up a good home forgetting why they came together in the first place. They allow stress and activities to grow them apart.

… Trying to give each other a good life is not bad, forgetting what brought you together which is LOVE in the first place is bad.

You will hear some people say…. common, I know I love her and that’s why I’m doing all this… I know I love him, deep down in my heart I do… Yes you do and you’re probably showing it by action too but it’s dangerous when you’re not backing your actions with the right or needed words. You can get carried away by the stress of work and activities around you.

Why is it important to say “I LOVE YOU” often

  • Saying “I love you” everytime increases the bond between you and your spouse. It continually stick you guys together you won’t grow apart.
  • Saying it gives both of you a sensitive connection and awareness to each other. Your spouse will always remain in your heart. There will be a great connection that nothing can sway.

  • It makes you see your spouse in a brand new way always. It keeps you guys young forever. It reignite your love affair and makes you want more of each other always.
  • Saying “I love you” is one of the key to your spouse happiness. It is a way you reassure your spouse that no matter what you’ll always be there.

… Don’t wait until Valentine day or your spouse birthday or wedding anniversary or other occasions before you say “I love you”.

There are lots of importance to saying the phrase “I love you” and I believe you can start to mention a few yourself. It’s crucial to say it out and not keep it in. When you guys first started, you said it out and loud and more often, then why have you stop or reduce it. It seems you’re getting carried away… It looks like the magic is lost… right…?

No… the magic is very much there but dormant. you my friend need to reignite it, jump-start it by start using the phrase “I love you” more often and genuinely.

I once experience this, but when I realised how important the word means to both my spouse and I happiness and how important it is to keep us connected… I quickly put myself together and start using the word more and more. Now, we grow stronger.

Say it out from now on, don’t keep it in anymore . Your spouse deserves to hear it from you always. I wish you a blissful relationship and marriage full of love and happiness.

It brings joy to my heart when you and I spend time together. Stay happy.

Leave your comments below.


Don’t fake it

Yes, don’t fake it… Fake what exactly? that relationship… don’t fake it. You know it ain’t going to work out, you know you guys are not compatible in any sense. Stop killing yourself inside. You know you’re suffering. The one time love affair has turn to slave affair. Why are you making it? Why do you pretend to the general public that all is well when it is not. You pretend to everyone that things are fine probably because you don’t know what they will say or think and you choose to go through pain.

No, you got to stop… you got to wake up now. Open your eyes and see what’s really happening.

… A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.

It’s better to be single and be praying and preparing to get married than married and be praying to be single again. You need to get this straight… As much as the other person’s life is important, your life is important as well.

Break-ups hurt but sometimes it is needed if the relationship is leading to know where or if it’s causing unimaginable pain. You can’t keep absorbing the pain when there is no probability of change. If you keep doing that my friend… it’s terribly dangerous.

Many people loose their life because they fail to have the courage to take the rightful decision for their life. They choose to manage the pain and suffering and in the process they loose themselves. Sometimes it is not their lives they lost, sometimes it is their future.

… There is no point in wasting your resources, time and energy on a relationship that is dead. If it’s dead, it’s not coming back.

You got to see the bright side of life. Don’t cling to a closed door while a better one has been open for you. I know you’ve tried all you could and it hurts to see it not working out… I feel you…. but I don’t want you to sit down in self pity or try to pretend that all is well and let life pass you by.

Sometimes I wonder how someone can possibly choose to stay in pain, get married to it and also bring those lovely children into it. it doesn’t make any sense to me… I’m sure you can agree with me. You need to stand up for yourself and be strong. Take the right decision now and save your future. Don’t fake it anymore, stop pretending, drop your ego and face your life as it is.

If the relationship can not be save anymore, save yourself.

You think about the pain that comes through break-ups… hmm, trust me… you don’t want to experience divorce. It is better to break up now if there is no future in the relationship than to divorce or separate from the person you get married to. It’s like hell on earth.

Don’t stay in a relationship out of pity saying… he’s gonna change… she’s gonna change… Listen, it’s dangerous. If your partner does not change now, there might not be any change if you get married. It’s your call… I hope you make the right call. I care.

Thanks for your time. I’m glad to spend my time with you.

Leave your comments below.


What are you to your family

Today is about what we are to our family. We know that Family is a group of people related by blood, marriage, adoption, friendship, law or custom, especially if they live or work together. Family is supposed to be the closest to us because it is described as almost everything around us. From wife to husband, children, parents, grandparents, friends, colleagues and neighbours.

Family is all about loving, giving, caring and sharing. It’s about being there for one another, meeting needs, and giving attention when needed.

… The love of a family is life’s greatest blessings.

As a husband or father, a wife or mother, a brother or sister, uncle or aunt, a male child or female child, friend or neighbor… Are you taking care of your loved ones? Are you being there for them? What are you to your family?

It is good to give attention to our career and profession, it’s a good thing to be focus on it but it is bad when it start affecting the quality time we give to our loved ones. You got to remember that when life turns bad or sour, what you need most is your loved ones and when life turn out better and great, you’d still need them to celebrate with you, you can’t celebrate alone of course.

Whatever a man sow he will surely reap. If you’re there for your family you will get the reward and if you’re not there, you will get a reward as well.

… As an individual you got to do right by your family now, spend time with them because there will be a time you will look around and you might not find them.

You might be thinking or saying…. common…. I had a rough start, no one loved me, no one was there for me, I struggled alone, I got my wealth alone with my sweat… and so on like that… Yeah, you are right, I feel your pain, I went through almost the same as you or more. But if you decide to not care and stay away, are you not doing exactly what they did to you? Are you not turning into what they are? Remember, two wrongs does not make a right.

You can change the thinking and lifestyle of your family by being good both by words and actions. You can change the errors of the past and set the future free by a true act of kindness.

… Family is where life begins and where love never ends. It is everything. Together we can make a family. It’s up to us to make it good or bad.

If everyone of us can start thinking about what we are to our families and start putting things right if they are not, then, happiness and fulfilment is certain.


… It’s a new week and I’m happy to start it with you. Have a great week.

Leave your comments below.


How to discover your life purpose

The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose. It’s when we live a life of purpose we find fulfilment in life. Whatever you want to be in life is found in your purpose. Now, how do you discover it? It’s simple… But first, you have to know that you must stay focus and be honest with yourself. Finding other things might be easy sometimes but finding oneself can be a bit hard.

There are 4 points here to help discover your purpose and also 12 questions that will serve as a guide to channel your mind towards the right direction . Here we go…….

  • Passion and interest. Write down the things that you enjoy spending time doing. These can be related to your work, your personal life, or your home life. They should be things that make you happy, that you really enjoy doing. These are things that you enjoy doing, they are things you can do even without getting paid and they are likely things that cause you to loose track of time.

… Passion is a natural thing. You hardly need any motivation to do what you’re passionate about. When you do what you have passion for, it turns out great with less stress.

  • Talents/gifts. This is a natural ability or skill. The population of the world is about 7 billion or more and each person is created with unique ability to do some certain things. This ability is called talents or gifts. Some are blessed with few and some more but the point is everyone have at least 2 to 3 natural ability. The people ruling the world today discover their talents and passion. We call them celebrities, superstars and other names. Think about your talents and write them down.

… Talents are treasures buried deep down inside of us. Discover it and you’re on for greatness.

  • What you love in people. Write down what you love and also what you love in people. There are things you admire in people, things that connect with you. These people might be your mentor, guardian, friend, partner, boss or neighbour. Identifying these things with the above points can open your inner eyes to see what your purpose is.
  • Who inspire you. Think about people whom you find truly inspiring. Write out why you find them inspiring and what they do (both career and lifestyle). You know there are people you so much admire that you want to pattern your life after them. Sometimes you admire these people because they share your beliefs, ideas, career view or a lifestyle that interest you. It is important to write these things down as they will shed light on who you truly are.

I’m sure your spirit is high already… yeah, me too. After writing all that down you will check them with the answers of the 12 questions you are about to go through. The idea is to check for similarities between all your answer. There will definitely be things that will appear most. Your overall answer will show you who you are and what you should start doing.

To answer these questions… you’ve got to be honest with yourself. Give each question a minute or two to answer and write them down. Here we go….

  1. What makes you smile? (Activities, people, events, hobbies, projects, etc.).
  2. What are your favorite things to do in the past? What about now?
  3. What activities make you lose track of time?
  4. What makes you feel great about yourself?
  5. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?
  6. What are you naturally good at? (Skills, abilities, gifts etc.)
  7. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
  8. What would you regret not fully doing, being or having in your life?
  9. What were some challenges, difficulties and hardships you’ve overcome or are in the process of overcoming? How did you do it?

10.What causes do you strongly believe in? connect with?
11. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?

12. Given your talents, passions and values. How could you use these resources to serve, to help, to contribute? ( to people, beings, causes, organization, environment, planet, etc.)

… I hope this is helpful and inspiring to discover your purpose.

I’m glad to spend time with you once again, thanks. Leave your comments below.


Why are you here

What a question. You and I need to get this straight if we want to fulfil destiny. Why are we here on earth? To which purpose are we made for? Are we living our purpose or someone else? You can’t be accomplished in life if you’re living someone else’s purpose.

Everything in life has a purpose both living and non-living things. Whatever that is created that is not exhibiting it’s purpose is useless, living but dead. Purpose is extremely important. It is the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. A life without purpose is like a ship without compass, it’s like a car without an engine. If we don’t have a sense of purpose, we will be living as if we are not. A lot of people in today’s world forgot why they are here on earth. They work tirelessly for the progress of another person’s purpose leaving themselves without a course.

… The purpose of life is to live a life of purpose.

You ask questions like why? why is life hard? why is this? why is that? It is like that because you’re living the wrong life, you’re doing the wrong job, you’re in the wrong place, you’re moving with the wrong people. If you fail to know who you are, people will tell you who you are not. If you follow the wrong path in life, struggle is certain and life will be extremely hard.

… There is a road that leads to your greatness, success and fulfilment, that road is your purpose in life.

Purpose is so powerful that if anyone fails to discover it, it will affect everything that surrounds such person. The only way to live in wealth and health is to live in purpose. It touches my heart when I see people especially old ones who are struggling to make a living, who got no money and yet living with a terrible health condition. Everyone wants to live in wealth and good health, if you want it, you got to wake up, know why you’re here and start living it up.

…. Purpose defines everything in life.

Many people go to the grave without opening the door to their destiny at all. They spent a whole life time living wrong. They live in pain and die in pain because they fail to know who they are.

… I’m sure you’re still with me… alright… Listen

Everything that will make you great in life is in you. You’ve got to look inside and bring them out. The whole wide world is waiting for you. There are things you are created for. This things will announce you to the world. It is what will bring wealth to your door.

Few people discovered there purpose in life and are fulfilled. Some of them discovered it on time and some it took them awhile but they got there.

  • Harland Sanders the founder of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Beginning at the age of 10, he held down numerous jobs including farmer, streetcar conductor, railroad fireman and insurance salesman. He did all that before discovering his purpose.
  • Bill Gates a Business leader, Entrepreneur, Philanthropist and founder of the world’s largest software business, Microsoft and one the richest man in the world. After enrolling at Harvard University, thinking of a career in Law, he (Bill Gates) dropped out of college to pursue his business, Microsoft. Why is because he discovered that he spent more of his time in the computer lab than in class. He wasted no time.

It can be hard, risky or a big of a change but it has to be done. You are born to reign and win.

… Purpose leads you to your fulfilment. Find it. Live it. Share it.

… it’s great to be together once again. Next will be how to discover your purpose.

Thanks and leave your comments below


Love is important but not enough

Yes, without an argument, Love is life and it’s extremely important. It is the only way to true happiness. But as strong and wonderful Love is, it is not enough to sustain a relationship or marriage. It is not enough to make two people live together forever. Are you asking why…? OK… Think about it… You’ve seen and heard people who said they love each other dearly but yet couldn’t live with each other, get along or get fulfilled together.

You will hear such people say, “I love my spouse, I can’t do without my spouse and my spouse love me and can’t do without me. But still, things are not right or fine for them. Things are not going the way they expect. There is Love but it seems not enough. They try harder but nothing change. They are tired and ask why? Why can’t it work…?

A lot of relationships and marriages experience this all around the world today. I experienced it as well and probably you’re experiencing it now. Love alone cannot make it work. You need to get that straight. It just can’t.

… Love is not enough but it is the rock on which all other things stands.

Three keys are needed to support and make the love you have for your spouse to grow better and make you fulfil. These keys will help build your relationship or marriage, establish it and make it colourful. These keys cannot work without love and love cannot work without them. Do you want to know them… yeah… me too, they are:

  1. Wisdom
  2. Understanding
  3. Knowledge

Relax…. These are words we know and are familiar with but as common as you might view them, they are the things that will give meaning and beauty to your relationship. Here is how important they are to you…..

Wisdom. It is the ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense and insight. It’s also the capacity of judging rightly in matters relating to life and conduct. As much as love is needed, it is by Wisdom your relationship can be built. It is what makes you mature to deal with situations. Those situations giving you headache is still around you because of lack of Wisdom.

… Wisdom gives you the ability to think and act rightly. It gives you the right sense to everything.

Understanding. This is the ability to understand something. The sympathetic awareness and tolerance for other people. The ability to share the feelings of others and also forgive. It is through understanding that your relationship can be established. Even though you love each other genuinely, you will always find fault in your partner because of lack of understanding.

… Understanding is like a wall that guides your heart and mind from negative thoughts towards the other person.

… Are you still with me… OK, finally…

Knowledge. This is the awareness or understanding of someone or something such as facts, information, description or skills which is acquired through experience or education by perceiving, discovery or learning. For you to have a treasure filled relationship, you need knowledge. Whatever you don’t have a knowledge of, you can’t do. You need to have full knowledge of each other. you’ve got to know every bits of each others life. “From wants to needs, way of life, beliefs, goals and aspirations. You need to perceive it, discover it, learn it and both share it with each other.

… All these are the true way to find fulfilment in relationship and marriage.

I’m sure you had a good time reading this… me too. Thanks.