Marriage and Purpose

Marriage is a beautiful thing, and also a thing of joy. It is the beginning of a new stage in one’s life. When people talk about marriage, they talk about how lovely and wonderful it is. As true as that may sound, marriage can also be the beginning of the end. That sounds harsh right… Yeah I know.

… One of the worst mistake in life is to marry the wrong person.

Marriage has made some people great in life. Through getting married, some found the true path to their greatness. Also, through getting married, some have lost it for life. Marriage has change the course of some to the wrong side. All this I took my time to discover and I ask myself, how can something so good also be so bad…? Through series of reasoning and thinking, I found out that… Marriage is forever good but wrong choices lead people to wrong life in marriage.

Before marriage everyone has a life. They have both long term and short term goals, many have discovered their purpose in life and are working towards it, many are even living their purpose already before going into marriage. Now… Marriage is not created to pull all of those down or throw them in the trash, it is actually meant to edify and make it better.

… The best person you can marry is your friend, better still your best friend.

But the truth is, with all the effort towards life purpose, goals and a bright future ahead, once some people get into marriage it all fly out the window, things start falling apart, the purpose will seem lost, some of the goals and aspirations are forgotten, instead of a bright future, things will look dull. All this is inevitable once one make a bad choice. Once you marry the wrong person, your life is over. This is one big issue affecting more than half of the world.

No one can journey through life alone, there is always a time you will need someone. But when choosing that someone, make sure you choose someone who shares or ready to support your dream. Choose someone who you can relate with on everything, someone you can plan with and share life together.

… Your best can never be enough for the wrong partner.

This is very important to your life. If you want to get to your destination fast, you must take this serious. Positive combine with negative will only give you negative. There are people with great potentials, visions and dreams that are now living below expectations because they married the wrong person. Except if you don’t want to get married, but if you do, this is a serious business for you. Your life purpose and marriage is link together. The link can push you forward or backward.

Effects of wrong choice of partner in marriage includes…

  • Divorce/separation
  • Frustration/depression
  • Sadness/pain
  • Reoccurring anger/bitterness
  • Loss of interest in life
  • Bad health
  • Career degradation/loss of job
  • Wrong lifestyle
  • Suicide/death e.t.c

No one will be faced with things like this and still manage to think or work towards any life purpose except for a miracle. Right partner gives right marriage and that gives right life and greatness.

Your life needs you to choose right. When you choose right, you choose life.

Thanks for your time. Stay refreshed.

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Assumptions kills Relationship

Assumption is deadly, like someone said, it is the mother of all screw-ups and mistakes. Some weeks back l learned how assumption ruins a marriage totally. Acting on things without having proof or fact is a cause of problem in relationships, marriages and even families around the world. It also extend to our career. Assumption can ruin someone’s career.

Assumption is said to be termites of relationship, it feeds on the relationship gradually until nothing is left. When one or both parties in a relationship indulge in assumption, there will be endless problem. Assumption does not only kill the relationship, it also hurt the heart of the person indulging in it.

Don’t just assume you know and start acting up on the other person. Most of the things we assume are sometimes wrong and most times, when we realize this, it’s often too late, a lot of words would have been spoken, a lot of things would have been done, someone might have been hurt.

When there’s a problem or you sense things that are unusual in your relationship or marriage or family, don’t let your mind start running round, don’t start cooking things up in your mind, don’t start assuming things… The best thing to do is to open up, ask, talk and communicate. You will discover that it is not as bad as you think or might not even be close to what you think.

… Assumptions turns heart against each other in a relationship.

Some people live on the assumption that their partner should know what they expect in a relationship… that is ridiculous. That kind of assumption will cause the bearer more pain when the expectations are not met and will cause the partner unexplainable pain because there’s no proper communication and agreement.

… A relationship is not based on assumption, it is based on communication.

In relationships, it is best to assume nothing. Assumption starts unnecessary drama. Once you assume one thing, it leads to another and another and like that until your heart is full of anger, resentment, pain, sadness and all kind of things that can make life unbearable. This things makes us act in strange ways.

Many of us have once being victims of assumption either now or in the past. A lot of relationships out there have come to an end because of this little fact. Some people make assumptions about their partner based on their past experience with someone else, this act will send your relationship to early grave.

Don’t just assume things are ok, they might not, your relationship or marriage might be dying underneath. Be sure, talk, communicate and act in love. Do not let assumption have a room in your heart or home.

Back to what I learned some weeks back…

it’s about a woman who assumed her husband is cheating on her not knowing it’s not so, because she refused to listen find the truth, she drives her man crazy until the health of the man became so bad. By the time she realized her assumptions was wrong, it was too late. She lost her husband to death and lost everything.

Assumption can be said to be the beginning of evil in a relationship… Don’t allow it.

Thanks for your time.

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Why choose your Spouse

Yes… This is a frequent question that pop to mind in the early stage of my relationship. Those days when I felt like backing out each time stuff I don’t like happens… The question will just pop in… Why choose her? Right there I will begin to remember why I choose to love her in the first place, why I can’t live without her.

Remembering why I love her in the first place each time issues arises goes a long way to help me work on myself as a man and helped her too as a woman. What I have discovered is that…. Love never fade or fail, it is just forgotten. Once it happens, it abides, it might be forgotten but it will always be there.

We need to keep it fresh. Many people have forgotten why they fell in love with their spouse in the first place. They have forgotten the magical moment they shared with one another. They have grown on each other and now outgrowing each other.

Love do not grow old, it’s always young. Stay young at heart and let the power of Love flow through you.

Like I outlined in my previous post enjoying your time with your partner, things that can keep you and your partner fresh and young for ever. You and I needs to always remember why we are with our spouses. It could have been someone else, but it’s her…. Its him…. That means there’s a good reason for it.

When you remember how the love started and how much you love your spouse at the beginning, your heart will connect back to the source and it will be strengthened. It will keep the love of your spouse fresh in your heart. It will make you forget the errors and weaknesses.

It will make you see your spouse as they are, respect and accept them, then gradually work things out in love for the benefit of both of you. Remember how it all started…

  • Those times you can’t sleep without seeing your spouse or eat without your spouse.
  • Those time you buy a surprise gift, those times you take breakfast to your spouse in bed.
  • Those times you laugh and play around the whole house like a kid… And so on.

We might be growing older but it’s important to keep our love young forever. It add beauty to our life. If why you choose your spouse is because of Love, then I will say…. Keep it Fresh

Thanks for your quality time.

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Saying you do means you have to do

A lot of people wants to say I do on that beautiful day but yet does not know what it means. Some have said it and still doesn’t know what it really means. The value and purpose of the word “I do”  has almost been forgotten. People now prepare more for the wedding day than life after the wedding day. The word “I do” is now seen as ceremonial activity. People give little or no thought to it these days. 

But my friend let me remind you of what you know…. The journey of the husband and wife starts on the day of the wedding. On that beautiful day, the couple seal the constitution that will guide them for the rest of their lives with a seal of “I do”.  And according to the constitution once you say you do, you have to do, not turning to the right or left. 

It’s a serious business and you’ve got to understand it. For every business there is a principle, once it is neglected the business is doom to fail. For every country or nation there is a constitution, once forgotten or neglected, there will be chaos. 

Let me ask you…. When you say you do, what do you think you are actually saying? Does anyone have answers to that?…. OK…. Let me bring out a little out of the constitution. When you say you do, this is what you mean… 

  • I will love him/her for the rest of my life. 
  • Whatever happens we will always be together.
  • I will not be selfish but share everything together. 
  • I will take him for who he is… I will take her for who she is. 

Now my friend, that is just a little of what the word “I do” means. You’ve got to think before going to the court of marriage where you will say I do. The court of marriage can be your church, the court of law, the garden or any other place. Once you say it, there is no going back, you’ve got to stick to it, till death do you part.

… Saying you do means you are aware of all your spouse weaknesses and you are ready to live with it. 

Many people don’t have deep understanding of this and that is why you see divorce and separation everywhere in the world. It is during relationship and courtship you know if you can live the rest of your life with your partner. It is the time you make corrections and amendments, first with yourself and then you make your partner see the reason for correction if there is need for it. It is when both parties are satisfied with one another, then they can seal their union by marriage. 

But on the other hand, you know that he drinks too much, you’ve tried to Change him or make him see reason to change but nothing changes, why say I do?  Or when he eyes every available girls around without remorse, or when she won’t listen to nobody but herself… “why say I do?” Once you say I do to these things, you have to do. You have to love him/her for all that

So my friend, I believe you want a happy home free of divorce, separation and stress. You’ve got to ask yourself, can I say I do to my spouse? If yes and your spouse feel the same, you will be fine. But if no, then there is a problem. Don’t start what you can’t finish. And if you’re married, it’s never too late to make it right and be happy again. Put yourself together and make things right with your spouse and family. Life without happiness is hell on earth. 

Thanks so much for your time. Glad to spend time with you. 


7 Basics of a Happy Marriage

It’s good to be back, it’s been a while and I miss you all. Today I’m asking a question… why do people get married? I believe people get married for different reasons, some do to find fulfilment, some to find companionship, some to build a family or future. I can go on and on as there are numerous reasons why people get married from tribes and culture to religion and all that.

But in all of this one thing is certain… Happiness. No matter what the reason is everyone wants to be happy in marriage. If you are not married yet, I believe you’re planning to have a happy marriage and if you are I believe you’d like it to remain a happy one.

… Without happiness, marriage can not be enjoyable. Lack of happiness can be destructive in marriage.

Here are 7 basics of a happy marriage that brings out the best in every marriages. Some of these points you know but don’t be too familiar, look at them closely and think about them.

  • Respect. Acknowledge each others roles in the marriage. Recognize and appreciate each others efforts. No matter how tempted you may be, don’t be quick to point out the negatives in your partner. Focus instead on the good. The positive.

  • Pay attention to your partner. Listen to your partner when they speak. Acknowledge them if they have a new look or went out of their way to do something different. A simple smile will go a long way.
  • Give each other some privacy. Don’t interfere too much in every little thing your partner does. This could cause uncalled for arguments that will ultimately bring stress into the marriage.
  • Avoid very close relationships with the opposite sex. Behavior such as flirting can create mistrust and lead your partner to feel insecure. This could strain the marriage.

… Consider your spouse in every decision you make, because every decision you make will impact them in some ways .

  • Be positive and focus on the future. As much as it is important to learn from past mistakes, don’t dwell on the mistakes. Say kind and positive uplifting words to your partner. Constantly pointing out the weaknesses in your partner and keeping a record of all that they did wrong in days past can lead to low self esteem and cause strain in the marital relationship.

  • Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Being together at all times and knowing each other too much can create irritation and tension. Spending some time apart gives both partners a chance to miss each other’s company and presence and value what they have. It is important of course to not spend too much time apart.
  • Don’t be selfish. Always endeavor to do more for your partner as opposed to always expecting them to always be the more giving one. Be supportive and helpful to each other. Always putting the other person’s needs and feelings into consideration.

Marriage is a beautiful thing. it’s a thing of joy. It’s meant to be enjoyed and not endured. If you are enduring your marriage, something is definitely wrong. Put yourself together and make things right again. If you are not married, then my friend, it’s never too late to start preparing for it.

It took me a while to make this publish after the last one in late September. I had to give time to settle some things in the family. I’m glad all is good now.

Thanks for always being there. You all are family to me.

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Can you marry you

This is one interesting question right….? Yeah. If you are ready to get married today can you marry someone who is just exactly like you in character and way of life? You’ve got to be honest with yourself. Look deep inside of you and think about it, can you marry the person you are. You know yourself and I know myself.

Many of us will answer No to that question because we know those things we do which are not healthy or good for living. We expect a lot from our partner, many of those things we ourselves can not give.

You say things you can’t do, you gave promises you can’t fulfil, you gave words you can’t keep, sometimes you even lie to cover up your lapses and above all, you put blame of your inability or inadequacy on others…. Can you marry the person you have turn into or turning into?

The question is for everyone of us. Every now and then you talk about the speck in your partner’s eye that needs to be removed forgetting the log of wood in your own eyes. You spend time analysing your partner’s fault forgetting those things you do wrongly.

… The quality of your relationship depends on the quality of your personal/single life.

If you go right or live right and your partner does the same, then you both will enjoy true happiness. For real…. you and your partner needs to become a better person individually before your relationship can be better.

Many marriages and relationships out there fail because the individuals involve do not work on themselves personally. When you are 80-100% complete and your partner too is the same or more, then you can be rest assured that nothing can shake both of you. Even though the storm rage, you both will stand.

If you know you can’t marry you… it’s good to acknowledge it now and start working on the areas you are lacking and if you’re married already, it’s never too late. Put aside your ego, accept who you are and then work towards being a better person.

… Your life is important, work on it. If it is negative, you will experience negative and if it is positive, you will experience positive.

An old saying says “do to others what you want them to do to you. Treat yourself the way you want to be treated and also treat your partner the way you want your partner to treat you. May you find happiness in your relationship.

… Yes, I’m glad to spend time with you once again. Thanks.

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